Thursday, April 24, 2008


When I was younger, I always wanted to be a teenager so bad. I would watch these shows on TV and think “Man. I am SO ready for this.” I would see the kids on the shows and wish beyond wish that could be me, living life carefree and loving it. To be a teenager.
To a kid being a teenager is a time for relationships, boyfriends or girlfriends, a time for break ups and make ups. It’s a time to be a kid at heart, and goof off and yell at your parents when they are stupid. It’s a time to play pranks on your annoying little brother, and laugh when he gets angry.
Being a teenager means lazy summers filled with boys, and hopping from pool to pool. Sleeping over at friend’s houses and staying up until 4 o’clock prank calling hot guys and giggling about everything that happened the day before.
Being a teenager means school, and hating chemistry and gym class. It means hating some teachers with a passion, and loving others to death. It means homework and finals, and study sessions with the girls to cram in last minute information, but really sitting and gossiping about what she was wearing, or what he looked like in that shirt.
Being a teenager means having that bubble. The bubble that protects you from the world, and only allows in the nice things, the things everyone likes to think about. It only lets the fun things penetrate its barrier, swimming and friends and youth group and laughing. It keeps the hunger and dehydration and global warming and wars out and away, until a time when we are able to process them.
At least, that’s what it means for most people. For me, it means surgery and sickness and anger and depression. It means bursting the bubble and coming into the real world. It means being that girl. The one all the guys look at as a best friend, but not a possible prospect. The girl everyone comes to with their problems, but no one wants to listen to, as her problems are just far to depressing. That girl that could, and very well may, snap any time now, because her little brother is sick, and no one wants to be around when that happens. The one everyone looks at with pity, and fake understanding in their eyes. The one no one wants to be.

Anyone else noticed that I've been thikning deeply lately?


K.C. said...

That was one of the most moving peices I have ever read. You absolutely made me cry. I am crying right now while I am writing this. Completely was not expecting that ending. Girl, you can write... REALLY write... KC

Sara said...

I remember my mom thought TEENick was only for teenagers, I had to convince her it wasn't...

You just spoke for all teenagers in that post. I heart your writing.